Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
