I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
