it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
