So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
