The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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