she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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