There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
