Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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