She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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