I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
