Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Also, beer. Big fan.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
