all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
