I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
