The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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