I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
