well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
