How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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