Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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