I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
