I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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