People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
