OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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