My boss' voice literally gives me gas
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
