I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
