I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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