it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Randomize
