Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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