what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize