as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize