i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
