two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Randomize
