1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
