yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
