You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
