I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
