Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
