Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
