How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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