Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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