My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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