Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
