How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
