why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
