I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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