Duck Duck Cougar?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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