When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
