Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
