please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
