I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
