Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
