I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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