there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
