that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
