mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
