fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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