yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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