Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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