I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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