Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize