u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Is Oprah even human
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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