I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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