do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
